LSOH Parody part 5

Chapter 5: Yuki II Comes Alive!

[After Jaren & Yuki left I went back inside the shop]

Me: you ought to see the way he treats her Twoey she deserves a prince not a sadistic creep like him the man's a total disgrace to the dental profession I know what's going on sometimes it seems like the whole world's going crazy at least we got each other right? I got to turn in Twoey see you in the morning

[Then the plant goes down again]

Me: oh boy here we go again come on I haven't got much left just give me a few days to heal ok then we'll start again on the left-

Voice: feed me

Me: I beg your pardon?

Venus Green/Yuki II: feed me

Me: Twoey you talked you opened you trap your mou-

Venus Green/Yuki II: FEED ME WORKER FEED ME!

Me: AH! Uh I can't

Venus Green/Yuki II: I'M STARVING!

Me: look maybe I can squeeze a little more out of this one

Venus Green/Yuki II: MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!

Me: THERE ISN'T ANY MORE! What do you want me to do? Slit my wrists?

Venus Green/Yuki II: AH!

Me: oh boy! Look I got an idea I'll go down to McDonald's to pick up some plain hamburgers!

Venus Green/Yuki II: must be blood

Me: Twoey that's disgusting

Venus Green/Yuki II: must be fresh

Me: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS!

Venus Green/Yuki II: Feed me.

Me: does it have to be human?

Venus Green/Yuki II: Feed me.

Me: does it have to be mine?

Venus Green/Yuki II: Feeeeeeed me!

Me: where am I supposed to get it?!

Venus Green/Yuki II: Feed me, Dustin. Feed me all night long.
That's right, boy! You can do it!
Feed me, Dustin. Feed me all night long.
Ha, ha, ha, ha ha.
'Cause if you feed me, Dustin, I can grow up big and strong.

Me: you eat blood Yuki II let's face how am I suppose to keep on feeding you? Kill people?

Venus Green/Yuki II: I'll make it worth your while

Me: what?!

Venus Green/Yuki II: you think this is all coincidence baby? The sudden success around here? The press coverage?

Me: look you're a plant an inanimate object!

Venus Green/Yuki II: DOES THIS LOOK INANIMATE TO YOU PUNK?! If I can talk & I can move who's the say I can't do anything I want?!

Me: like what?

Venus Green/Yuki II: like deliver pal like see you get anything your sick, queasy heart desires!
Would you like a Cadillac car?
Or a guest shot on Jack Paar?
How about a date with Hedy Lamarr?
You gonna git it. (If you want it, baby.)
How would you like to be a big wheel,
dinin' out for every meal?
I'm the plant to make it all real.
You gonna git it.
Hey, I'm your genie, I'm your friend. I'm your willing slave.
Take a chance. Feed me, eh? You know what kinda eats,
what kinda red hot treats, what kinda sticky licky sweets I crave.
Come on, Dustin, don't be a putz.
Trust me and your life will surely rival King Tut's.
Show a little initiative, boy. Work up some guts
and you'll git it.

Me: I don't know.

Venus Green/Yuki II: come on boy!

Me: I don't know!

Venus Green/Yuki II: lighten up!

Me: I have so, so many strong reservations.

Venus Green/Yuki II: tell it to the marines!

Me: Should I go and perform mutilations?

Venus Green/Yuki II: hehehe you didn't have noting until you met me come on kid what will it be? Money? Girls? One particular girl how 'bout that Yuuuuuuuukay? Think it over there must be someone you need deceased real quiet like & GET ME SOME LUNCH!
Think about a room at the Ritz,
wrapped in velvet, covered in glitz.
A little nookie gonna clean up those zits
and you'll git it.

Me: Gee, I'd like a Harley machine,
toolin' around like I was James Dean,
makin' all the guys on the corner turn green.

Venus Green/Yuki II: So go git it.
WHOO WHOO WHOO!
If you want to be profound, if you really got to justify,
take a whiff and look around. A lot of folks deserve to die.

Me: WAIT WAIT WAIT! That's not a nice thing to say!

Venus Green/Yuki II: but it's true isn't it?

Me: NO! I don't know anyone who deserves to be chopped up & fed to a hungry plant!

Venus Green/Yuki II: hmmmmmm sure ya do! [Moves me up to the window where I see Jaren come up in front of Yuki's home with Yuki running behind]

Jaren: Stupid woman. Christ, what a friggin' scatterbrain!

Yuki: [running] I'm sorry doctor! I'm sorry doctor!

Jaren: Falls off the motorcycle, messes up my hair GET THE DOOR OPEN YOU LITTLE SLUT!

Yuki: I'm trying doctor I'm trying!

Jaren: GET THE BITALLICS GET THE BITALLICS

Yuki: I'M OUT OF IT!

Jaren: WHAT?! [Slaps her hard]

[After seeing that something inside broke inside me saying JAREN MUST DIE!]

Me & Venus Green/Yuki II: If you want a rationale, it isn't very hard to see, no, no, no.
Stop and think it over, pal. The guy sure looks like plant food to me.
The guy sure looks like plant food to me.
The guy sure looks like plant food to me!!!!!!!!!

Me: He's so nasty, treatin' her rough,

Venus Green/Yuki II: YEAH! Smackin' her around and always talkin' so tough

Me: You need blood and he's got more than enough.

Venus Green/Yuki II: I need blood and he's got more than enough.

Me & Venus Green/Yuki II: I/You need blood and he's got more than enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Venus Green/Yuki II: So go git it!

Me: Jaren's gonna wish he didn't see it coming

To Be Continued…